Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
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But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
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I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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