I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
