One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
