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i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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