I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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