I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
