he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
