I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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