He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
