u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
