I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
this boner is exhausting
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
