What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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