I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
