I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
