ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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