The best revenge is premature balding
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I think your dad took our porno
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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