So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Life is so much better after having sex.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
