Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I am mentally ready for anal.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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