Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
