that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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