I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize