i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
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My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
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Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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