I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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