im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
