Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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