I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize