Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
How naked do you want me to be?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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