i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
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