She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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