I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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