I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
