You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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