Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
