Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize