id be glad to
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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