you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Im part way to drunk.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
