Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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