Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
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my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
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Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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