I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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