I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
