you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
