I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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