You really coming over, don't trick.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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