My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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