Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We left an ass print on the piano.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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