Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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