you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
smell my finger.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
