I cockslap morals
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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