i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
