He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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