Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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