Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
