So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
