She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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