dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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