dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
