5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
