Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
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Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
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Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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