I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Oh god it's open bar.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
