I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
pray to the hookup gods
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
