Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
