no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
high people should be assigned attendants
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
